Excuse me but are you Jack Klompus?

Annual Homeowners Association meeting — Or I’m living in the “Del Boca Vista (Phase Two)” Seinfeld Episode.

 For those of you who have lived through a sorority house Monday chapter meeting, an HOA annual meeting will have an eerie familiarity. A façade of an agenda highlighted by passive aggressive digs at fellow members err homeowners.

 Call to order: our HOA president is a dead ringer for Joe Biden! Complete with brighter teeth, more hair and a Harley!

First order of business: the condo complex is now in a designated flood zone. Apparently people “back East” made this decision. For context, the USGS (aka people back East) reviews flood maps every ten years and flood zones move. There are 4 minutes of discussion about calling your insurance agent then we move on to other pressing business.

 Um Wait — I’m on the second floor can we revisit this whole flood thing?

Apparently not because:

Cardboard boxes are not being broken down properly. I repeat: residents of Del Boca Sunset are not breaking down their boxes correctly for the recycling container. There will be a letter put into mailboxes outlining the correct way to do it (spoiler alert – exactly how you think you break down a box)

 Also don’t bother tearing your address label off the unbroken down boxes because “we know who you are. We note who gets packages “. Hmm maybe having those Toys in Babeland deliveries sent home wasn’t the best plan after all. Time elapsed 20 minutes.

 Watery death = 4 minutes

 Unflattened boxes = 20 minutes

MAKE WAY FOR DUCKLINGS!

 The pool and the hot tub are scheduled to open this weekend but there is a mama duck, a daddy duck and ten ducklings living in the pool area. (the fact that there were ten baby ducklings within 20 yards of the meeting nearly cleared the room)

 A resident raised her hand to remind the board that she likes to swim early in the morning. By the look on Joe Biden’s face, this was not breaking news. She is concerned that she and the duck family will be sharing the same water. Our Plant Operations Manager (basically the MacGyver of Del Boca Sunset) pointed out that if she had ever gone for a swim in a lake she was “swimming where fish spawn”.

Um eww. Obviously not MacGyver’s first discussion on the subject with this resident.

 Drama at the pool: earlier in the day the baby ducklings got into the hot tub but were too little to get out and were swimming around and around with Mama quacking up a storm. So MacGyver put a plank in there as a ramp for easy egress. In his words “We will continue to work with the ducks.” Take that early swimmer.

 With that the meeting adjourned. Cookies and coffee were served.